Real Advice to My Children As You Head Back to School

Back to school.

A few months ago, the words seemed forever away. Excitement filled the air as kids were dreaming of what fun adventures their summers would hold. Well…the time has come. Summer is coming to an end as it tends to do. School shopping has commenced and the air is now filled with a mixture of excitement and terror (depending on who you talk to of course) with the impending first day of school just around the corner.

Myself…I’m an educator. I’ve always looked forward to back to school. I love the excitement in the halls and the promise of lessons learned. I have one son who absolutely loves school…just like his momma. Hudson will be in the fourth grade this year and is extremely social. He loves being around his friends all day and having similar experiences as them. He can’t wait. And then there’s Asher. Our youngest son will be entering the first grade this year, and he’s a ball of nerves. He’ll do fine, but the initial shock and adjustment is always a bit of a challenge.

But no matter what your child’s mood is concerning the unavoidable, school is starting. Words of wisdom don’t come to me when my kids are leaving with backpacks loaded to the brim. They don’t enter my mind as we are in the car on the way to school. And they certainly don’t come as I watch my boys jump out of the car and run to eagerly pull open the door of knowledge.

What does come to me? Tears. Always tears.

I’m not one to want my babies to stay babies forever. I am truly loving every minute of them growing and establishing their own personalities, likes, and dislikes. But every year I am overcome with emotion as soon as their little bodies leave my line of sight. Why? Every year, I marvel at how proud I am becoming of my humans.

So here is my real advice to my children as you head back to school. This is what is most important to this momma:

  1. Show your Christ-filled heart in everything you do.

    This is something I’m still learning as I get older. People will know you by what you say and do, not what you say you are going to do. Do not be afraid to show your heart, the heart your momma knows, to everyone you come in contact with. Open doors for your friends and say, “Good morning!” as you all flood in. Imagine how many of these kids are just as nervous as you are. Your smile may be their comfort and hope of a great school year. Give high-fives and hugs to your friends (old, new, and future). Visit your teachers. Your smile, positivity, and excitement will be contagious.

  2. Be you. No worse and no better than them. Just you.

    Equality. It was 1954 (yes, before I was here) when segregation was finally considered illegal in public schools across our country. But watch the news today and you will see it everywhere. It’s as though our world is digressing and it’s shameful. You, no matter what color you are, what your social status is, how much money you have, or who your family is, are just you. Just be you, the you who Jesus loves the same as the person you are standing next to. Stand up for you and for others. If it’s wrong, it’s wrong.

  3. Wrong is wrong. Take a stand.

    This one requires some more explanation and is a perfect continuation from point number two. Wrong is wrong. It does not matter if you are white, black, brown, purple, blue, orange, rich, poor, somewhere in-between…wrong is wrong. You, my children, know right from wrong. I will never…NEVER…punish you for standing up for what is right. But you know what the consequences will be if you choose to make bad decisions and treat others, any others, with disrespect.

  4. Stand up for those who can’t easily stand up for themselves.

    To me, my sweethearts, this is most important. There are some people in this world who choose to take advantage of others, some who are just plain mean. Sometimes standing up for others is as simple as putting your arm around another, extending a hand, or offering to play and be a friend. Others will follow you. Be a leader, one who helps and doesn’t hurt.

  5. Encourage others.

    Someone has to win and it won’t always be you. In fact, most times it will be someone else. Learn to give a high-five to the winner and say “awesome job” to everyone else. Change the definition and help yourself and all others understand that a winner is also someone who can win and lose with grace. One day, the one who lost will win. Help everyone remember that.

  6. Be honest.

    Remember what I said about others knowing you for what you do and say, not for what you say you are going to do. It becomes all too easy to tell fibs in life. And then those fibs turn into lies, and the lies turn into deceit. Learn now to be honest and it will come easier and easier as you get older. Listen to that little voice inside of you telling you to tell the truth. Sometimes, honesty will get you in trouble; this is true and something I know all too well. But the reality is that the trouble you will be in will be far less than the trouble that a fib, lie, or deceit will cause. Just tell the truth.

  7. You make a mistake. You fix a mistake.

    Yes. Stumbles will happen. You will make bad decisions from time to time. There is a lot to be said for being able to say, “I was wrong, and I’m sorry.” There is a lot to be said for “doing your time.” You won’t always be forgiven right away by whomever you hurt, but healing will happen in time. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. If you make a mistake, you fix a mistake. You learn, you move on, and you try not to let it happen again.

  8. Believe in yourself and work hard.

    You are so smart and so capable. I truly believe nothing…NOTHING…is out of your reach if you learn to truly believe in your abilities and work hard for whatever your goal is. Success is what you make it.

  9. Be a gentleman.

    Yes, this one is specifically geared toward my sons. I understand the push toward gender equality and I fully support it, but I also am extremely old-fashioned when it comes to the role of men in society. I do believe you, my boys, need to understand the importance of growing into a man who can lovingly and faithfully lead a wife and family one day. Open doors for girls and women, tell them they look nice (not hot and not sexy), offer your jacket if someone is cold, encourage them to achieve their goals, stop negative or inappropriate talk if you hear it or are being part of it…the list goes on and on. Help females see themselves as you see them…beautiful and capable, strong and worthy.

  10. Be the good.

    We say in our house all the time that God will make all things good, and it’s so true. Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If we don’t understand the bad, then we must work to show others that good exists. It’s not as hard as it sounds when we remember to give the credit where it should go. God is the good. God is all things good, and He made you. Be the good.

Have a wonderful school year, my sweethearts. I will shed some tears as you jump out of our van and run to open that door for others, but they are tears of joy. They are tears of excitement at the promise of lessons learned and more opportunities to spread good. I love you so very much and am so proud to be your momma.

All my love,

Mom
***

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