30 Something Somethings I’m Learning in My 30s

I’ve only been in my 30s for a couple of years now, but I’m finding it to be quite awesome. My 30s so far have come with some ground-breaking realizations. I’m feeling more free. Transformed even. I’m learning that a lot of the chains I felt were on me were put there by none other than – wait for it – me. I held myself back for a long time.

Getting old has a lot of disadvantages. I’ve stopped getting carded when I order a drink. People call me “ma’am.” And being a parent in this world of technology is a huge challenge. But I’ve found that there are a heck of a lot more benefits to getting older than setbacks. I’m learning to embrace the changes, take the bad in stride, and focus on the good whenever and wherever I can. I’m enjoying life more and more every day and embracing the moments, so it’s time to put words to what I’m realizing…

Here are 30 Something Somethings I’m Learning in My 30s:

  1. Weight is nothing more than a number. Do you feel sexy? Focus on that. If no, work hard in whatever way you need to get there. If yes, rock whatever you’ve got.
  2. Hair dye and makeup cover up my “wisdom” and “experience.” Some people call these gray hairs and wrinkles. Those people can bite me. I’m growing fond of those visual representations of the fact that life happens. I feel better when my hair is natural and I wear less makeup rather than more.
  3. My husband seems to love me even more than he did the day I married him – you know, when I was 120 pounds and had zero life experience (ah hem…and humans) showing on my body. I like that. He’s hot. I’m hot to him. Who else matters in this area?
  4. I’ve learned more from failure and tears than from success and smiles.
  5. Keeping thoughts and feelings inside is really overrated. It’s the reason every fight has ever happened. Say it. Respectfully.
  6. Continuing number 5 – Being able to respectfully disagree or not says an awful lot about who you are…and whether or not I want to be around you.
  7. There is so much power in the words, “I’m sorry.” Say it and mean it.
  8. A smile, coupled with an attitude of I’ll do better tomorrow. I’ve got this., can turn any bad day around.
  9. Jesus rocks.
  10. Being a parent is the hardest and easiest job at the same time. They are so easy to love.
  11. Attitude is everything. Think about it. A is the first letter in the alphabet. T is the 20th and so on. Add up the numbers. A=1, T=20, T=20, I=9, T=20, U=21, D=4, E=5. Got it? 100. Attitude equals 100%. (I may or may not be a teacher.)
  12. Cussing by training yourself to say words like, “BUBBLES!” will immediately change your attitude. Go ahead, just try to say “bubbles” in an angry way. I’ll wait.
  13. Listen to lots of music. Dance. Sing loudly. Be weird. You will make yourself smile and others around you. Even if they are smiling because they are laughing at you – you just made their day better. Hold your head high.
  14. I don’t know what I’m doing. Ever. I’m just doing the best I can with what I have. And that’s okay.
  15. My favorite word is, “Enough.” When feeling frustrated with financials – Do we have enough? Yes. Then trust it will all be okay.
  16. I don’t know how I feel about a lot of things. And that’s okay.
  17. Just love. Judging, hating, envying, trying to change someone…they don’t help and they don’t work. I’ve tried and failed. I’ve hurt myself and others. Just love.
  18. Sometimes keeping your mouth shut is what has to happen in the moment. Walk away. Cool down. Think of a way to be respectful. Then speak.
  19. There is something so emotionally comforting about having and loving a dog. Or really any pet. Animals have healing powers.
  20. The ONLY way to lose weight is to work hard through diet and exercise. There is no secret. Stop wasting your money.
  21. The people making decisions are usually the ones who shouldn’t be. Do the best you can with what you have.
  22. Working hard and falling flat on your face (likely multiple times) is the only respectable way to get anything. Do NOT give up on your dreams.
  23. Those who fall and get back up are so much stronger than those whom have never fallen.
  24. Suicide is not selfish. It is also not the answer. But it’s not selfish. (Side note…this is number 24 in honor of my husband. Jeremy, my love for almost 17 years, is a five-time suicide attempt survivor. Learn more on our website at www.jeremyandbailey.com and follow our journey advocating for mental health on Facebook).
  25. God doesn’t make mistakes. Period. You are who you are and where you are for a reason.
  26. There is always a way out of an uncomfortable situation. You just have to find it.
  27. Your conscience is God. Listen.
  28. Learning to train yourself to see the positive before you see the negative is a human superpower. Do it.
  29. Being thankful for what you have, as opposed to focusing on what you don’t, will change everything.
  30. It’s okay to be picky about who you choose to surround yourself with.
  31. The bad days are the days when I’m trying to control something or someone. Let it go.
  32. If you learned from it and you grew through it, it was worth it.

If you liked my list of 30 Something Somethings I’m Learning in My 30s, please share. If not, don’t. Here’s a bonus tip…be true to who you are and what you believe. Stand up for what is right. And be happy.

~ Bailey



When God Tells You to Slow Down…

This is my “baby”. But, as you can probably tell, he isn’t so much a baby anymore. He’s almost six years old.

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Asher (almost 6) when he was first admitted to his hospital room on 4.16.15.

Asher has been the picture of health since he was born. He has only been on antibiotics a handful of times in his entire life and generally gets over illnesses quickly. You can also probably tell that this picture was taken from Asher’s hospital bed. On Thursday night, after Asher had been complaining of a sore neck for a few days, my husband and I found a large and very painful lump had formed on Asher’s neck just under his right ear. Now I don’t know much about lumps that appear out of nowhere, but what I do know is not good. And this lump was very painful.

I scooped up Asher and drove the seven blocks from our home to our local Cozad Community Hospital Emergency Room. I could see the terror in Jeremy’s face too; we were in very unknown territory. My mind immediately went to the horrible things a growth like this could be on my child. Is this cancer? What if they can’t get it to shrink and it cuts off his airway? The true issue is that these are real possibilities and have been all too real for too many parents; I didn’t want to be one of them.

I’m very proud of myself though. While waiting, it would have been very easy to get on my phone and search “growth in neck” on Google. But I knew what I would find. I would find terrifying and inaccurate information from people providing opinions or asking questions to other unqualified individuals. I resisted the urge to search. As I texted information to Jeremy, who stayed home with our older son, he informed me his research was revealing this is likely an infection and benign. Jeremy could not resist the urge to search, but fortunately he is one who knows where my weaknesses are; he never would have shared terrifying possibilities with me in that moment. He chose to give me hope and positivity instead. My husband and I are complete opposites; where I am strong, he is weak. And where I am weak, he is strong. It works. And I thank God for him every day.

Daddy entertained Asher with legos in his hospital room 4.17.15.

Daddy entertained Asher with legos in his hospital room 4.17.15.

Thankfully, I was blessed with a very calm nurse and doctor taking care of Asher. In order to rule out scary options, it was decided we would have to take blood, run tests, and immediately begin IV antibiotics to fight what obviously was nasty inflammation. Unfortunately, Asher’s blood wasn’t flowing easily and the poor kid had to be poked and prodded more than six times in two days to get the samples needed. But, I will make a very long story short and tell you, after two nights in the hospital, Asher’s lump on his neck has decreased in size dramatically. He was diagnosed with strep throat that caused a swollen and infected lymph node. We received amazing care and were truly blessed to have hundreds of friends and family members praying for us as we were terrified for our boy. We are home now, and I have learned a lesson.

Slow down. Life has a way of getting very fast and overwhelming. Before you know it, you’re telling your child to hold on for a second while you check for that precious email or post. Life is full of adventures, but the family God blessed me with is my greatest adventure by far. These are the people who will be by my side, and have been, from the most terrifying to the most rewarding experiences. And our ride is not over. So God told me to slow down. We can help others and we can achieve our dreams, but we don’t have to be finished by tomorrow. And we can involve the people who love us and support us the most.

We know how precious life can be because we have been forced to imagine what life would be like without those we love. While it sounds excruciating, I recommend everyone do this. Just try it. Picture a life without those people you love. You’ll learn quickly to rely on God, to trust Him, and to be more open than you ever thought you could be in an effort to have more people praying for you and your family in tough times. You’ll learn to let the little things go and put the focus back where it should be.

We all need reminded sometimes. Right now I am typing and listening to my five-year-old belly laugh at a movie in our living room. It is the sweetest sound ever and I have been reminded that God surrounded me and blessed me with these marvelous sounds. So I will embrace them. I will not take advantage of them. I will treasure them. I will slow down and live life for God and for my family. Don’t worry, I still plan on saving the world, but with them by my side feeling completely supported and loved.

Asher Lane gets to go home 4.18.15!!!

Asher Lane gets to go home 4.18.15!!!